So while I'm not going to pretend to be an expert on this subject, the recent loss of my cat of 13 years and a friend's loss of her pet has gotten me thinking and prompted me to write this. My cat, Calvin, passed away about two weeks ago now and I was at a loss for what to do. I couldn't think, let alone face my guests with a Disney smile. So, I called in and I sat and watched TV and played video games. I coped the only way I knew how: Crying and trying to forget.
Being in the DCP is a lot of the time a person's first time away from home. I'd say roughly 70% of the people I know went to community college and lived at home, while the rest lived at Universities on the campus. I think it's harder to deal with the loss of anyone or anything that you deeply love because of this. While majority of my time here is spent happily working with my friends, spending time at home or in a park, and taking classes, not enough time is spent keeping my brain from going into overdrive and keeping me from thinking. Which even now, two weeks after my beloved kitty has passed away, I still have moments where I just sit and look at his pictures and cry.
It's hard, being so far away from your loved ones, and not having anyone around you that knew your animal, or knows what you're going through. A lot of people don't have such an amazing gang of roomies that rally around them and help them out, so I thought I would share some things I've learned since Calvin moved on.
One: It's okay to be sad.
This is one I struggled with a lot. Calvin was just a cat, right? I'm dumb to have called in to work and stayed home and cried. He's just a cat.
The thing is with this, is it's not JUST a pet to you. A pet takes on a role in your family and becomes one of the family and really is someone you grow to love and know. They are our friends, our listeners and on bad days they are the ones that love us no matter what. So, go ahead. Cry. Scream. Call in sick. Grieve. Show your friends photographs and videos and tell them stories about your friend. Laugh at the good times you shared, the memories you have. Remember how they always did that one thing that they only ever did for you. It's not just a cat. It was YOUR cat.
Two: Find Closure.
3500 miles away from home it's hard to find closure that you might have been able to find at home. You don't have your family around you, but you have other people who care. Take your pets favorite human treat and go sit in a park and people watch. Go find a family of ducks to follow around. Head out to Conservation Station and pet some goats. Find your peace.
Three: Try not to dwell.
This is the one I've had the most trouble dealing with, but I'm coping. Try your best not to dwell on what happened. Remember your happy times with your pet and don't get stuck on the sad thoughts. Keep in mind that though we have pets, their lives are naturally shorter than ours and that death is a natural part of life. As sad and unfortunate as it really is, focusing on how good of a life your animal had helps a bit.
This post is dedicated to anyone else on the DCP that lost their dear pet while on their program, and also to my wonderful old man cat, Calvin. Thanks for 13 long and happy years of snuggles and purrs and for keeping me quiet company when I wanted it and sometimes even when I didn't. You were one amazing cat, Fat Calvin and you will truly be missed by your whole family. You were here for us for too short a time, but what a sweet time it was.
Being in the DCP is a lot of the time a person's first time away from home. I'd say roughly 70% of the people I know went to community college and lived at home, while the rest lived at Universities on the campus. I think it's harder to deal with the loss of anyone or anything that you deeply love because of this. While majority of my time here is spent happily working with my friends, spending time at home or in a park, and taking classes, not enough time is spent keeping my brain from going into overdrive and keeping me from thinking. Which even now, two weeks after my beloved kitty has passed away, I still have moments where I just sit and look at his pictures and cry.
It's hard, being so far away from your loved ones, and not having anyone around you that knew your animal, or knows what you're going through. A lot of people don't have such an amazing gang of roomies that rally around them and help them out, so I thought I would share some things I've learned since Calvin moved on.
One: It's okay to be sad.
This is one I struggled with a lot. Calvin was just a cat, right? I'm dumb to have called in to work and stayed home and cried. He's just a cat.
The thing is with this, is it's not JUST a pet to you. A pet takes on a role in your family and becomes one of the family and really is someone you grow to love and know. They are our friends, our listeners and on bad days they are the ones that love us no matter what. So, go ahead. Cry. Scream. Call in sick. Grieve. Show your friends photographs and videos and tell them stories about your friend. Laugh at the good times you shared, the memories you have. Remember how they always did that one thing that they only ever did for you. It's not just a cat. It was YOUR cat.
Two: Find Closure.
3500 miles away from home it's hard to find closure that you might have been able to find at home. You don't have your family around you, but you have other people who care. Take your pets favorite human treat and go sit in a park and people watch. Go find a family of ducks to follow around. Head out to Conservation Station and pet some goats. Find your peace.
Three: Try not to dwell.
This is the one I've had the most trouble dealing with, but I'm coping. Try your best not to dwell on what happened. Remember your happy times with your pet and don't get stuck on the sad thoughts. Keep in mind that though we have pets, their lives are naturally shorter than ours and that death is a natural part of life. As sad and unfortunate as it really is, focusing on how good of a life your animal had helps a bit.
This post is dedicated to anyone else on the DCP that lost their dear pet while on their program, and also to my wonderful old man cat, Calvin. Thanks for 13 long and happy years of snuggles and purrs and for keeping me quiet company when I wanted it and sometimes even when I didn't. You were one amazing cat, Fat Calvin and you will truly be missed by your whole family. You were here for us for too short a time, but what a sweet time it was.
RIP Calvin
No comments:
Post a Comment